Originally Posted by
MarlinVX 
You did cause this
you can control this
and you can cure this
For what I do in the military, those same three Cs could be used to describe exactly what I am trained to believe, only get rid of the "not" from each statement.
14 years, almost half of my entire life, spent in the Navy. I have spent years training to always be in control, and take responsibilities for our actions. We are very strict in our protocols, and integrity and accountability are huge. Even if it isn't your fault, you get fired if something happens within your realm of responsibility. The Navy fires Captains every day for things they did not even know about, but they are still held accountable(glory would be complete if politicians were the same way). We are also trained to try and fix everything. I am a certified Critical Incident Stress Management counselor, providing counseling to those that are involved in traumatic events. Once again, more training to try and 'fix' the problem. So for me to follow the 3 Cs is damned near impossible. I understand them and what they mean, but they are so distant from my own beliefs...
It is my fault, I should have thrown her out a few years ago, before it got this bad. Since I did not take action then, that makes me partially responsible for the now.
I can fix this, with the right tools, and time, I can fix anything, including her.
I can control everything in my domain. I pay for this entire household, I do ALL of the chores, I take care of the bills, I schedule everything, I help the kids with homework, I am the superman of fathers, working full time in the Navy and supporting my dead beat wife. I am even finishing my degree right now, taking two classes, coaching tee-ball, and so on. I manage to do all these things, and deal with my AW and none are the wiser. When I talked to my boss, he had no idea about my wife, I was that good at keeping it all covered. I asked for the week off while she was in the hospital, he was floored when I told him why. Only people who knew were her parents, my parents, and some of her friends (not the other drunks, they think there is nothing wrong with her)