Thank you all for all the kind words and encouragement. I truly feel like I am not alone in this nightmare. My boy is home (in the shower right now) and all is well, at least for tonight.
I feel great right now, and hopeful. I know life will get better, I just need to leave. I don't know that he will ever work a program & at this point I don't think I even care anymore. I feel so much stronger today. I am starting to see that this is his problem, not mine. I can only control my life, not his. I have a wonderful son, and he needs to be my priority. He is my responsibility, and he trusts me to make wise decisions. My ABF has his own mama - let her worry about him.
I can't leave just yet for financial reasons, but I'll be able to in just a couple of months. I'm scared out of my mind, but I'd rather be miserable without him, than to continue to be miserable with him.