Feels good to share...
I stumbled upon the website a couple of weeks ago and it's been a big help. It's feels good to read the stories on here and realize you are not alone. It's amazing how many of the stories are so similar. I have found comfort in reading about other people facing seemingly hopeless sitations who have found the strength and wisdom to make tough, but usually right, decisions about their lives. Since it helped me, I thought I would give a "cliff's notes" version of my story.
I have been with STBXAW for 11 years and married 8. Like many others, I had no inkling of any alcohol issues at all for the first 6 years we were together. We would drink socially but she would usually always get hammered. But at home or otherwise nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
In 2005 I took a new job in another city and was commuting back in forth on weekends while we tried to sell our house. It soon became apparent my STBXAW was having parties while I was gone. She had alcohol stashed all over the house. She was also also doing cocaine and having an affair. Any sane normal person would have left right then and there. What did I do? Set about trying to fix her of course! She went inpatient for 15 days and continued outpatient. Somehow she conviced me that it was only the drugs that were an issue, not alcohol, so she continued to drink.
Fast forward to today, we have a 17 month old DD and a 3 y/o DS. In the last year she has been outpatient, detox, outpatient, inpatient, outpatient, inpatient, residential, outpatient and is currently back in inpatient. I finally figured out I need to exit stage right.
I have already met with a divorce lawyer and plan to meet again this week to get the ball rolling. He plans to serve her while she is in rehab which I kind of have mixed feeling about, but after everything I have been through I don't really care. I have finally figured out I will be a much better dad divorced then trying to "save the marriage for the kids" and we all be miserable.
This site has been great and only reaffirmed I am making the right decision. Sorry the post is long, but it's great to share.