Boleo

I don't know much about depression but I sure do know about deep despair. Shortly after getting sober I got a job as a Over-The-Road trucker;

2 - 3 weeks without a day off
Lonely
Boring
Frustrating
Frightening (at first)

I thought it was the worst possible job for me at that point of my recovery. I never had an urge to drink, but I often found myself sinking into deep despair and singing the old Peggy Lee tune "Is that all there is?"

Bridge abutments and steep cliffs started looking like an easy way to leave that world behind. I found myself in a sink or swim situation. I had to find peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose or risk steering my truck deliberatly into harms way.

Turns out I learned more about prayer, meditation and detachment in that 14 months than I could have in decades of living a normal life. I now understand what the Buddhists say:

"In this life, pain is mandatory, but suffering is optional."