tryintosmile

So well put! I've been in this situation once before but not with the A (at least not yet) - but what was most likely a Narcissist. I dreamed of letting his next wife know what he was like, and to warn her. In the end, he all but ruined her life (after 2 kids), and she even got an annulment after a 7 year marriage to him, to keep her good standing with the church. He liked to stay in contact with me occasionally, so I was able to see how it played out over the years. The story is longer and karma did get him, but it took me ALL OF THOSE YEARS to see this kind of karmic justice and to realize that NOTHING I could ever have done would have convinced her or the next victim of his mental cruelty, cheating, lying and Narcissistic tendencies. They had to find out on their own. It also helped me to finally let go of believing it was ME - but I'm sorry I had to wait that long to feel the relief. What a waste!

You are VERY fortunate to be away from this man and his violence and insanity. If you could take my word for it, please don't waste another moment thinking about the 'smear campaign' he will use to make it seem as though you are the one at fault. Also, other than as most posters here are telling you to keep copies of that video for the proper purposes - which is excellent advice, please use that footage to remind your own self, daily, that you were the unfortunate victim of this man. Karma will bite him, sooner or later, and it won't necessarily be because of you, but you can be sure that he will get his.

Focus on YOU - and all the good things you now have to live for - just being away from this poison. I wasted far too much time, waiting for validation in thinking that it was because I wasn't good enough for this man and the hard lesson I learned was how much time I allowed him to 'rent space in my head'. I could have been focusing on my future - but because at the time I had such low self esteem, I went right into the arms of an alcoholic instead, and have wasted another 14 years.