Thanks for the replies. I'm detaching myself, I would like to be able to do so lovingly, to still be affectionate, but I just can't do that right now. I am now realizing the patterns of his manipulation, or that's what I think it is (is it?)- to make me feel guilty. He has always implied that I am selfish. He's really an unhappy person, most of the time. I have made the mistake in the past of letting that determine my mood. His excuses: He blames work. He always has to work, he hates his job, he has no friends, he needs to be going to school, he needs inspiration. He asks me to inspire him. I've always just kind of shrugged, or nodded when he says that, but you know what? Only he can find his own inspiration. That's not something I can give him. I am less fearful of his moods, because they're HIS moods. There is only one Al-Anon meeting per week in my town, with low to zero turnout. I suspect I'll be here a lot. Thanks for all the support.