Welcome! I am new here too, and our husbands sound VERY much alike. It is a tough situation indeed. We have a 9 mo old, and I don't want him growing up with an alcoholic parent either. I tried the ultimatum last year, when I was still pregnant. He was pissed, said he had no choice, and was on good behavior for a while. Of course he's slipped right back to where he was. I am usually an impatient person, and want change to occur rapidly. My biggest battle is that this takes time. I'm doing the whole detachment thing. It is tough with a young child- not much ME time! We've been married 3 1/2 years, and I give it another two. If things are the same, I'm done. In the meantime, I'm putting away the same amount he spends on booze into my own personal savings account. I was raised by a strong, single mom and know that sometimes, you're better off on your own. (I'm also thankful to her, as I NEVER knew fighting of any kind growing up.. a very peaceful childhood). Best of luck.