New Here, Codependency, etc.
Husband has been alcoholic at least since we got married 4 yrs ago, but I am really finally realizing it now. He's always had shaky hands and I didn't know why. His moods are unpredictable, I find vodka bottles in his car. I've never seen him stop for more than 1 week on his own.
I've been reading a lot about codependency, and I do exhibit some of those behaviors, although I generally have very high self esteem and value myself deeply.
My trouble right now is, I have not confronted him about this (not since about a year ago), but I feel so much anger towards him that I can't get past it myself. I've been going to some AA, Al-Anon which has helped, and I know it is not his fault, it's a disease. But I'm still angry!!!
I think I should talk to him soon, just lay it all out on the table. No ultimatum, but just tell him how I'm feeling. Or do I just accept it?
I'm thinking of opening my own savings account, and putting away the same amount of money he spends on alcohol each month, so that if I do need to leave I will have a cushion.
I love him a lot, but I love me more.