Hi folks, Thank you all so much for your prompt responses and wonderful encouragement. It really has helped and I feel a lot stronger and back on track today. I really respect your opinions and I know that you all are traveling the same tough road as me. It is funny that there were very few posts over the last few days on this thread and yet when I came asking for help...you were all just there. It is very touching!!!
I feel much calmer today. I have spent time reminiscing over the good times and experiences I have enjoyed/achieved over the last number of months and also the tough times that had brought me to the serious decision to stop drinking. I have enjoyed lots of social occasions over the last number or months that I really really enjoyed WITHOUT ALCOHOL so I am not sure why now it had become different.
I just needed reminding that I CAN NOT DRINK ALCOHOL, IT IS POISON TO ME, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND FOR MY FAMILY. I want you to know that this is my first attempt to stop drinking and I AM fully committed never to drink again but just something tricked me into thinking I was OK and hence I came to you prior to doing anything stupid. I need to post here regularly..on my laptop, not on my phone. I need to keep on track. I need to be honest. I so appreciate all the support you have given me over the last few months and hope I can be here for you all in the future. Ps my name is Hilary, everyone calls me Hils...I used 'Moo Moos' as Little Moo Moos is the name of my daughters preschool...not very imaginative I know but I was probably hungover when I picked it!! Might think of changing it as not sure I like the idea of everyone thinking of me as a sober cow....literally lol lol