Hi Grizz - welcome to SR
I would say that it sounds like Al-anon time to me too.
My AH drinking hasn't really increased dramatically over the last 30 yrs or so. In fact I would say that he drunk more when he was much younger. His tolerance seems to go in waves too but at the moment it just makes him sleepy.
I have been married to my AH for 22yrs. He has drunk mainly beer all of our entire life together (we met at 15yrs old). When we lived in the UK, he would drink out of the house (pub) maybe 3-4 nights a week and drink at home in-between.
When we moved to Aus, he didn't have the pubs/social life to go out to, so drank at home all the time. We even got the 'beer fridge' that the Aussies are famous for. This was really when his drinking became a real problem for me as it was more noticeable. I began 'counting' the number of beers he was consuming. I also had an excel spreadsheet with all the money purchases that had been spent on alcohol. I counted how many beers were in the fridge on a daily basis, so that I could know how many beers he was drinking on a daily basis.
We had some almighty rows about it that led to him saying that 'he was going to carry on drinking whether I liked it or not' and 'if I didn't like it, I could leave'.
I was devastated, 30 yrs together and I was coming second to beer - really?!! At this point I felt crazy, trying to figure it out and then someone told me to try Al-anon and it helped me in so many ways. In Al-anon we try to keep the focus on ourselves so that we can stay healthy in mind and spirit.
Alcoholism is known as the family disease as it effects everyone who comes into contact with it and can make you very sick too. I know I am. After a year and a bit of Al-anon, I have slacked off going, and I have recently been counting and watching my AH drinking again and feeling nuts about it. To solve that, I am going to up my Al-anon meetings and do some more psychotherapy to get myself well again.
I have grown up children too, who have both been affected by their dads drinking. They have both talked to him about his drinking too, to no avail. It really is a complete waste of time and effort to try and make alcoholics see what alcohol is doing to them and their families. It makes no difference at all to the alcoholic and just leads the family to frustration.
I think I was at my happiest when I felt that I couldn't care less what my AH was drinking and doing to himself, as long as he wasn't affecting me.
Have a look into AL-anon and keep reading and posing on SR in the meantime. Really pleased you found us, as someone above said, your recovery starts now.