Hi Moo,
First of all congratulations on your B-D.
"I still nearly find myself saying that I am ok now!!!! Ah it was not that bad."
I have been there soooooo many times in the past few years, and it usually hits me right about now, 100 +/- days. It sounds like you have hit, or you are about to hit a brick wall.
It may sound strange, but what I seem to be doing a lot of these days is mentally "divorcing" my mind from my body. Sometimes I just take a deep breath and close my eyes for a couple of minutes, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror, sometimes it just happens when I am driving, or exercising, or in the middle of whatever... but I try to do it several times a day and see myself as a new person, a sober person, one who does not need, want or desire anything to do with alcohol.
I see myself in the future, totally free of addictions living a healthy, happy, active live. You mention husband and friends. That is very hard unless they are in your camp. If they are not, I would try to see myself ahead of time, a week from now, two weeks from now, a month from now and see that those chaotic feelings are nothing but a wall in your way and try to get beyond it.
I strongly believe that repeating affirmations to myself over and over again works. Try to replace the chaotic feelings with positive ones, but first ask yourself (and no one else) what is it that Moo Moo really wants. Keep us posted.