Cravings
Welcome Joe!
Your story brought back vivid memories. The important thing is to keep on trying.
I learned not to compare my life with what I read or hear about others; we never truly know what goes on behind closed doors. One woman in particular who I met in early sobriety looked polished, professional and accomplished as a corporate executive...only to learn that she was in a domestically violent relationship. You never know...
As for cravings after having stopped drinking, I wanted to share this. It's an article that helped me to understand and prepare for cravings before they hit:
"Since alcohol is a powerfully addictive drug that is toxic, your body had to make some physical changes to keep you from being poisoned. Your body's chemistry, especially that of your liver, had to change to keep you alive while you were drinking.
However, once your body chemistry changed to accommodate the presence of alcohol, it cannot be un-changed. This is why you are experiencing physical cravings for alcohol; your body wants it back!
These cravings are most intense in the first six months of abstinence from alcohol. Thus, this is when most relapses occur. Here's how you can beat alcohol cravings today, right now:
Cravings occur on a Bell curve: they start out mild, grow in intensity until they peak, and then gradually they return to the "baseline" of no cravings.
When you feel a craving begin, now you know what's going to happen - so you're ahead of the game! As your craving peaks in about 30 minutes, do something else...anything; exercise, go to your recovery group's web site and talk through your craving, call a friend, read your email, go to a movie, read a book, watch TV, just get your mind onto something else.
The craving will begin to recede slowly, and soon it will be gone altogether. This process takes about an hour. Keep telling yourself "I won't give in. This is going to pass." And it will! Your self-confidence will be increased significantly as you enjoy the success of not picking back up.
The psychological aspect behind cravings: It is the habit and routine that you built around alcohol use that is causing the craving. The obvious solution to this type of craving is to make a new routine that does not involve drinking.
The fancy term for this process is known as "pattern interruption," which simply means that you stop drinking. However, you must have another behavior to do instead of drinking; this is called "pattern development."
You can't just leave a big hole in your life without filling it with something else; this is a sure-fire relapse trigger."
That was the gist of the article, Joe. Information liked this really helped me to understand what was going on with my body and mind in the early sober process. Hopefully it helps you too.
Support from others who understand what you're going through is very important to sobriety as well...whether that's through this site, AA, counseling or another sober program, I wish you the best!