Yes, I agree. The meetings can be very different from one to the next. If I hadn't found Al-Anon, I know I would have ended up in the hospital or worse. And I usually hear at least one thing that I need to hear at every meeting. And of course, there are other groups out there. Getting good support is the main thing!
At any rate, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have been through a similar situation and I know how incredibly devastating it is. ((((BIG HUGS)))) to you!