StarCat

Through it all I did keep talking to a few people. The guy I sit next to at work was a giant help, and the one person I talked to the most. I also worked near one of my friends from college, so I would talk to her sometimes.

I also ran meetings at work, and while the last couple months last year (when XABF was the worst) I was very distraught and disorganized, up until then I was very good at running meetings and getting things done. (My manager always gives me the projects that are behind and he has no idea what to do with them. Somehow I always figured them out to everyone's satisfaction.)

I am learning that I can talk. This forum helps. I have been talking more to people at work, and some will actually stop by to visit. I feel self-conscious talking at AlAnon sometimes, wondering if people are understanding what I'm saying, but lots of people stay afterward and wait to have a friendly conversation with me, so I must be okay. Someone from the meeting yesterday actually called me to talk today, and asked if I'd go to a meeting with them tomorrow, so we're going to meet for dinner or something and then head over together. It's actually quite exciting.

So little by little I am learning that I do have some words I can contribute to the world, and that the only person I really bore is XABF, because when I am talking he's not supposed to, and that means the attention isn't on him as much as he'd like.