One thing that REALLY helped me zero in on my enabling tendencies was asking myself if I was "Helping" or "enabling":
"Helping": Doing something for someone he is unable to do for himself
"Enabling": Doing something for someone he is PERFECTLY CAPABLE of doing for himself.
Everytime I'd think about doing something for XAH or for a friend/coworker, I'd ask myself if I was helping or enabling. After that, I realized I had surrounded myself with people who just used me for my "goodwill".