Originally Posted by
cutelittlewife 
So I've done some more thinking (no surprise here, huh?) about what happened. And you know what my conclusion is? If this horrible event was what was needed for my husband to realize just how bad his addiction is, and if that's what it took for him to never in his life pick up another drink - I am willing to live with it. I now see it as a 'wake up call' for him. He himself said that the fact he was able to do something like this to me and our marriage makes him absolutely loathe alcohol and the idea of putting himself in that position again is unthinkable.
Again NOT to be negative here, only real…….my ex’s “wake up call” was being handcuffed and placed under arrest! He was arrested on terroristic threats, then possession with the intent to distribute (little did they realize that the quantity of illegal drugs they found were solely for his own consumption) a restraining order. He lost his business and all his clients, he lost me and my family as well as the support of his own family and friends.
Eventually after he was clean for about 4 months we got back together (mistake on my part) it was too soon I actually see now that he should have truly felt the loss and worked through those feelings before we ever thought about getting back to together, but hind sight is always 20/20. Addicts never think of past consequences as a stop gap not to use, they just get more crafty, more manipulative – especially when that obsession kicks in.
Your husband hasn’t really lost anything from this relapse. He got to drink and use drugs again, then throw cheating into that mix and what’s consequences? A threat that you may leave, you aren’t so what has he learned?
Please remember – we do teach people how to treat us. We set that standard and they follow it.
I can remember the words very clearly in my mind today from my ex “but you love me and you’ll always take me back no matter what”.
Don’t even want to waste my time wondering what he’s thinking today……it’s officially been 1 month of no contact, 2 months of ending the relationship that turned to nothing but lies, hurt and pain.
I hope you far better with the lesson you are teaching yours.