Same here, several SEVERAL 'attempts' in my lifetime. Some of 30 days, one for 5.5 months, many for times in between those two.
Each time, it's exactly as you said TDC, for whatever reason I would simply 'stop' wanting sobriety bad enough. Religion or creators of own destiny aside, therein lays one of (probably everyone here at SR too..or most I would think) our common threads- we just stopped wanting it bad enough in the past.
Why? Don't know. Things got really good or really bad. Not really worth spending the energy trying to figure out why I couldn't realize that sobriety as a way of life was a precious gift and keep my gratitude for it first and foremost in my life. Best just to do that now I think...be grateful every single day that we are sober and remember just how much we want this thing. Happy to be on this journey with everyone here at SR just as much as the people I see in person everyday, definitely a personal journey, yet still the kind to be shared/enjoyed with others.
One thing that I hear and sometimes gives me the shivers is people who put together 5, 10, sometimes 20 years and go back out. Actually, I should say it 'used' to give me the shivers. Now I just think to myself that's exactly why it's so important to keep this as a the top priority in my life.
R4R- congrats on 100, that's huge! Way to go!!
