hi welcome to SR do make yourself at home here and read read and read as much as u i did and still do find the posts and stickies here invaluable.
Do u have family near to u that u could maybe go stay with maybe not forever just so u can clear your head living with the insanity of an alcoholic sends u a bit nutty with them and it may just give u some clarity and peace of mind, if not family then maybe friends anyone where u could just stay with your son hope things get better for u *hugs* xxxxkia