Thanks dee. I'm not happy to hear you still have the 'thoughts' from time to time, but I am happy to hear it's not abnormal for that to occur.
Yeah, I don't think it's any reflection on my program. I've been on here (SR), I've been in AA since my first day back, I have commitments and am working the steps, I've been exercising again and I just quit smoking - if I don't smoke tonight (which, like drinking, I have no plans to) than today will make 2 days w/o cigarettes again. It was impairing my health WAY to much to let it linger much longer, no association with old friends, praying in the morning and before bed, being a good employee and not calling in sick on my moody days, calling others in the fellowship, etc. - I've really been trying to do 'everything' different than how I did this in 08' and checked back out. That, however, I not only saw coming- I thoroughly *thought* it through and simply decided I had enough time away from liquor and was 'cured' and could go drink again.
So I'm chalking it up to 35 years of drinking vs. 80ish days of not drinking, my thoughts are gonna be crazy from time to time and move on. Thanks for the feedback man, much appreciated, good to know it isn't just me (I'm sure if I share about this at a meeting I'll hear the same from some of the old timers too....I should know better than to think it wasn't going to happen eventually, I guess since it hadn't so far I didn't see it coming).
Ok, much needed meeting time!