Oh, I'm sorry if you were offended.... I really really didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean to imply you were being selfish - not at all. What keeps us stuck in these dysfunctional and very unhealthy relationships is our reluctance to LET GO OF THE DREAM. As you can imagine, I had quite a few dreams for my son as he was growing up, very few of which have come true. When I held onto the dreams that is when I experienced a great deal of pain. When I realized that they were MY dreams and not his, I was able to let go, accept the reality, and I was released from the pain (or at least a big part of it).
It was simply a shift in perspective that helped me and I was just trying (badly) to get you to see things differently. You said you were very angry that your mom is missing those childhood moments. Anger is not a comfortable emotion. I was trying to help you feel better, actually, to accept WHAT IS and to let go of YOUR dream. It's a process and it takes time.
Again, I apologize profusely! I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings at all. That was not my intention. We are here to support YOU.