I'm so sorry. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are learning. It's all about progress....not perfection.
It's very difficult but at some point we get our belly full of the addicts shenanigans. We get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Perhaps you are getting to that point. Then the motivation for your own recovery will help you make the tough decisions.
Just know that there are other parents on here who have been where you are and they are surviving. My recovery started as just a few minutes a day of serenity.....just a few precious moments. Then....a few more....then an hour.....then several hours. I found I could sleep again. I work really hard to maintain that serenity. It's a constant battle to keep from falling back into old behavior patterns. I found help with books, Naranon and SR. You can too.
Be gentle with yourself. Dust yourself off. And keep working on you......you're worth it.
gentle hugs