I'm sorry, but I agree with ((Suki)) - she's doing what A's do. Since I'm both an RA and a recovering codie, I understand the wanting to beat the **** out of them (or knock some sense into their head) from the codie side. From the A side, I was addicted to the man as much as the drugs (as we did them together).
Meetings may help...they do for a lot of people. I tend to spend a LOT of time on SR, reading and learning, as well as posting.
I'm sorry for the pain of you, your mom and her granddaughter.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy