i am aweful at boundaries which is why i have kept myself stuck. i think you did a good job because you showed that you were serious and that you could not be easily swayed. as for hte response, i'd say that is typical. i see my addict asa spoiled little kid. if she doesnt get what she wants when she wants it, she gets angry, throws fits, temper tantrum stuff. if i don't give into that, which i no loger do, she changes her approach and becomes nice. if that doesn't work, she goes back to the anger saying that she is mad because she tried being nice and i still wont give in. i dont know if you watch south park at all, but there is a spoiled bratty kid- cartman. he wants to go to another kid's birthday party but the other kid tells cartman he will not invite him because cartman is a jerk. so cartman show up the next day at he kids house wearing nice clothes and his hair is combed nicely. the other kid answwers the door and cartman just stand there. there is silence. the kid says- cartman you are wearinga nice sweater, that does not make you nice, i am not inviting you. cartman is baffled. he doesnt understandthe difference. he figures out how to act nice to please the other kid, who eventually conceeds only to find out cartman is still a jerk and only pretended to be nice. the kids in this cartoon are in 5ht or 6th grade. addicts act like they are the same age.
here's another one since i am rolling. my addict was given $80 from a family member. she was proud to offer me some of it to help me out since i had bee ngiving her so much. she insisted i take it and i thought if it makes her feel good, i'll take it. she gave me $30. i put $15 of gas in my car and 15 in my niece's car. she said she was glad to give it and was happy me and my niece both had some gas. she spent the other 50 on drugs. the next day she asks for 10. i said i dont have any money. she said, i just gave you 30 last night. i said, right and i spent it all on gas. her reply was, well then why cant you just get 10 from the bank. i said just because you gaveme 30, doesnt mean that money shows up in my account. again she didnt get it.
on a similar note, one time we were scrapping up money to keep her from getting sick. she needed $20. i had to count change to make it happen, she tossed in th30 cents she had in her pocket. i managed to make it to 20. she told me in the sweetest voice how she was trying to contribute by giving the 30 cents. then she mentioned it later too, like that was a major contribution.
i guess my point is, they will get angry or any way they feel will help them get what they want.