Need Feedback on How I Enforced a Boundary
I told my best friend that for me to be able to remain in his life I needed to set boundaries. They included not being around him when he was under the influence or had the potential to be, not being around his friends who he has used with (who are also still actively using and have a history of encouraging his relapses), and not listen to him talk about these friends.
This weekend we were supposed to go to a small concert at a friends. After he got off work he said that he had a bad day and did not feel like going, but I should enjoy it with our friends. A few hours later while we were at the concert, he then texted me to say that a friend I do not feel comofrtable around had cheered him up and he wanted to know if it was okay if the two of them came to the concert.
Several boundaries were pressed with that. I replied that he knew what I was comfortable with. He said he didn't know why it was a big deal since it was a concert and there would be other people around, and was it my honest opinion that it would be awkward. I am done with telling someone to do/not do something, so I replied he could do whatever he liked. He then said that he would not be going even though he really wanted to because of my response. Luckily I had a very supportive friend with me who said that if by chance he did show up that we could leave.
The next evening my friend sent me a text saying that I had been very unfair and that he was disappointed. I replied that I felt the same and did not appreciate my feelings being disrespected. He got angry, denied disrespecting my feelings by testing my boundaries, and told me that just because I don't like his friends doesn't mean I should take a "you know how I feel approach" because that was cruel and unfair to him. I said that texting would not solve in any issues and that if he wished to discuss it I would do so on the phone. He then said he was too angry to talk to me and that he would talk to me in a few days. I've left it at that.
It really came out of no where that I was suddenly to blame? I asked my supportive friend their opinion and they think he is just trying to manipulate me by acting like he is hurt/angry/whatever. How did I handle enforcing my boundaries? This is the first time he has tested one. Is anger a common reaction when you stand up to someone for your boundaries?