Thank you all
Hi,
Thanks so much for reading my message, I can't believe someone actually did. Thank you for your words of support.
I do believe he never wanted this to happen, which doesn't seem to change the fact he couldn't control himself... He called that girl to ask her what happened. It bothers me that he's been lying to me about his substance abuse - he relapsed about a month ago, went out for drinks and hid it from me, says he was ashamed he was drinking after 21 months of sobriety. He seems very serious about the program now, but then again, so he was 22 months ago...
In real life, he went to confession, he's going to the meetings, he scheduled an appointment with a substance abuse counselor.
As for me, I went to an Al-Anon meeting but there are things I will not agree with. I can't stop thinking about him when he's out, I can't leave him , I vowed in front of God to be with him for better or worse. Also, at the meeting I went to, I was cornered by 4 women and spoken to for over an hour after the meeting. A LOT to take when you're devastated and crying...
Also, I am seeing a counselor tomorrow to help with grieving.
I came to this forum looking for support and understanding, reassurance that I'm not a weak sucker who can't dump his sorry alcoholic cheating ass but keeps trying to forgive...