Dessy - You sound like a man who, if he gets and stays sober, will be a really amazing father and person. You are the only father your children will ever have. Don't forget that.
Some people, when they get sober, are still kind of a jerk, let's face it. But sobriety will not be wasted on you, you'd be an awesome sober person. You made the time to drink and recover from hangovers, now make the the time to go to meetings. They'll save your life.
You can do it.