If you were in this much agony because of diabetes, you'd be in an ER right now. AA is to alcoholism what the ER is to physical trauma. It can end the suffering. There will be a recover period. How long and how painful that will be is really up to you. Sobering up is scary. Terrifying. Confront the fear and go to AA. What you are doing is dying. One dramatic, lonely, excruciating drink at a time. There is a way out. This can change. You are the one that decides when.