Thank you Sasha, that does put a new spin on what my counselor gave me to think about. But you're right, when I am ready to leave it won't be with the intention of coming back if he gets sober. I think it will be too late and I'm pretty sure that I will be too happy on my own if I can manage it economically. In the past he has gone to FL for weeks in the winter and its wonderfully peaceful and anxiety free.
It sounds like your husband has a lot to prove and should expect to give it a loooong time, for you and himself.