Truths For Mature Humans
My mum sent me these. I'm sure they've been around a while, but for some reason they felt like fresh bits of wisdom to me. Hope you can relate.
Truths For Mature Humans
* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
* There is great need for a sarcasm font.
* How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
* Was learning cursive really necessary?
* Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
* Bad decisions make good stories.
* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of MS Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid ghetto" routing option.
* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
* The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it took only 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies, quit laughing.)