Truths For Mature Humans

Old 01-04-2011, 10:18 AM
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Wink Truths For Mature Humans

My mum sent me these. I'm sure they've been around a while, but for some reason they felt like fresh bits of wisdom to me. Hope you can relate.

Truths For Mature Humans

* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

* There is great need for a sarcasm font.

* How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

* Was learning cursive really necessary?

* Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

* Bad decisions make good stories.

* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of MS Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid ghetto" routing option.

* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

* The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it took only 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies, quit laughing.)
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Old 01-04-2011, 10:38 AM
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These are GREAT! I was LOL by the second one! Thanks for the post!

CLMI
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:42 AM
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I love this list, thanks to you and your mum.
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:48 PM
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After 12 years off and on in the hotel industry -

I've got #5 covered.
I love to be a friends' house when they're folding laundry
because I *can* fold a fitted sheet.

It always amazes them.

LOL
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:21 PM
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It always amazes them.
But, Barb, you are not going to explain?

Okay, i guess i will continue to ball them up.
:rotfxko
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Old 01-04-2011, 03:32 PM
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These are perfect and couldn't expain life better. Thanks for posting. I hope it's not illegal but I copied them onto my Facebook ! Let me know if I have broken any rules.
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Old 01-04-2011, 03:45 PM
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Oh, and who wants to volunteer to clear my cache when I die?
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Old 01-04-2011, 04:43 PM
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"Oh, and who wants to volunteer to clear my cache when I die?"

Wicked, aren't you lucky! That's why you have so many "codie" friends! (LOL)
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:48 PM
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My favorite is saving people's numbers in your phone so you know to not answer if they call! I definitely do this all the time, and the fact that it made this list assuages any guilt I had for doing so. Very good list!
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