Welcome Tom !
As you've learned, there is nothing we can do or say or force upon our A's to make them stop drinking. Forcing him into rehab or AA won't do any good. Nothing will do any good unless he is ready to stop.
It is normal to feel sad about their situation but, by coming here and Alanon, you can learn to live your life without allowing his disease to consume your life too.
It sound like you've done a lot of research - knowledge is empowering. Keep coming back and posting and reading. I'm glad you're here.
L