You know what - I did know my xah was a drinker. He changed a little from when we were married but not a whole heck of a lot. The drinking was a bit worse in the end but it was bad from the time we met.
I changed though. That kept me stuck for a long time. I felt like I was betraying him and/or did not give myself permission to follow my own truths because of it.
What was not important then, is a very big deal to me now. I changed. I did and he didn't and it is still OK to say that this is no longer working for me, even though I signed up for it. We are human. We follow our paths even when they lead us in a way we didn't foresee. It is unfortunate for him. I am sad and sorry about that. We can't sacrifice ourselves because of that though, it doesn't really work.