Thank you Hailee. I'm sorry for your situation, that's a lot to deal with and 3 babies. I don't think he's drinking or drugging at all. He regularly attends meetings and all his friends are sober etc. What I'm struggling with is the 'alter' ego that exists behind closed doors. He is a raging jerk at times over nothing. He has had a lot of problems with his family and kids but not with friends but I'm just really starting to wonder if this is who he really is or what. I keep seeing that the tendencies of the addict don't go away with sobriety they just sort of become a 'dry drunk'....that's what I've heard it refered to as anyway... I'm confused