Originally Posted by
buttercream 
Thank you so much for posting and directing me to the right questions, which were hidden by my codependent blinders!
I enjoy being married and don't want a divorce,
Yup, Neither did I.
but I don't want to be a mistress to alcohol,
BINGO!
and I can't overlook serial cheating.
Yeah, that's kind of a big one.
I see a bleak future if I stay. In fact, I wish I had left before now and saved myself the heartache. So, perhaps the better question for me is how do I constructively grieve for this dead relationship and move forward?
Well, I shipped my XAH to rehab, and told him he couldn't come home. Sent him to live with his mom. I spent the next 6 months focusing on me, repairing my home (yay for new floors and a garage door opener), and filed for divorce about 6 months later. It took FOREVER, and it was just final this month. (We mediated, and like you, I had everything and he had nothing. You think it's bad you're a lawyer? I'm a doctor!) Anyway, he gets a chunk of alimony every month and I have sweet freedom. And it's totally worth it.
I look back and think that I should have left years ago. I wouldn't be stuck with alimony, and could have had those years back. And then I remember that I was a resident at the time, had no life, and needed someone to let the dogs out occasionally. So he was actually good for something. A minimal something, but I didn't worry about my dogs peeing in the house when I was away on a 30 hour call day. Anyway...
Get angry. It helped me a lot - not to mention, I got a lot done. Do your research. Not that we'd be advising you to hide money or assets, but, well, you know. Take care of you, and you know how best to do that.
Good luck,
D