Wishing you the best on your interview.
You have stood by your wife for years. For better, for worse, whether it helped, or hurt, when you were right, when you were wrong, when she was right, and when she was wrong. You were there during all that. You have done all you could.
You say you have come to the end of the line in this relationship. Give yourself permission to go. Real permission, in your heart. We all, everyone of us, have permission to follow our own truths. This is your history and you can honor that. It is not erased by any other person, action, or promise. This is your life, and you can cherish and honor that. You must because no one else can.
My xah and were both walking the paths of our lives. For awhile they met and we walked together. I see it now that his path started to veer off into a terrible and frightening place, darkened by alcoholism. I tried to drag him along with me on my path with all the controlling and manipulation *I* did, I left my path for awhile and walked on his to try and save him. It doesn't work. We are only true to ourselves when we stay on our own path. He is still in a terrible and frightening place and even though that breaks my heart I have really and truly accepted that I can't make that any different. The catch 22 is that I did not really and truly accept that until I was away and got some clarity over the situation. I left him because I felt I must or completely unravel but it hurt so bad because I didn't really get it.
Not sure if that share was at all helpful but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone and there are those of us (mostly on SR - not so many in real life in my experience) who really do get it. We believe in YOU. It is kind of a cruel twist that when we need strength the most is when we feel the weakest but the strength is there. It is deep within all of us.