Please my friend - I mean no disrespect to you, to the rehab or the drs - even to your AH - but from my experience the stuff that your AH is saying is . . .
QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!!!!!!!!!
Sounds exactly what the active disease does to many of them.
If you will take a moment to visit with members here who have walked that path, who are recoverying alcoholics/addicts ~ you will hear a touch of remorse, a lot of true humility, a ton of gratitude and a great deal of appreciation for the Grace given to them to be living a different life.
I haven't heard a lot of "victim" mentality, blaming of others, or better than thou attitude -
Not saying that your AH is completely that way - I'm just saying that this is what I hear and see from those that I have seen thoroughly dedicated to changing their lives to a healthier and sanier way of life.
I know that the help I have received from attending meetings and family support groups have helped me tremendously - I believe it may would help you also - hopefully you can seek that for yourself.
After all, YOU deserve to be Happy, Joyous and Free from Pain, Sadness and Insanity - regardless of the choices he makes.
PINK HUGS to you,
Rita