Hi all,
Thank you for your replies...
Originally Posted by
sailorjohn 
Not in twenty words or less, and I should be going to sleep now.
It's called alcoholism, there are a lot of good stickies here on the subject.
Perhaps this is the first place I should start. Even when I come here, or when I have yet another moment where I 'cannot' say no to drink, there is always this little whisper in my head saying to me, "ah, but you're not a
real alcoholic. You just have a lot of things to run away from.
Anybody in your situation would need help coping". I'm guessing I'm not the first person to tell themselves this - or similar - BS.
CarolD, thank you for the link to 'Under The Influence'. I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. Some parts of it just reconfirm that I'm not a 'real' alcoholic, E.g. Withdrawals (I never got them) or the part about blackouts. I also believed that everyone blacked out (although perhaps not as often as I do) because people around me
do blackout as a result of alcohol! I'm not talking about college students here, I'm talking about successful, respectable people in their 30s who are high up in banking/finance, medicine, etc., etc. Other parts have me really thinking though.
I don't know...