Originally Posted by
keepinon 
So he broke the kids hearts and then changed his mind? How is this helpful to the kids? Kids LOVE their parents no matter what..they NEED stability and this kind of drama is going to leave its mark. Have you read the adult children of alcoholics posts? It can give some insight as to what your kids are going through and the possible outcomes of an addicted parent living in the home.
It's a big flashback to when I was young (my father is a recovering alcoholic). The promises. The gifts. The time he'd spend with us, building up our hopes, making us believe he was dad of the year, superman, a magical wizard all in one, fail swoop . . .
Only to be let down again (and again and again X10) when he'd be swigging liquor in the kitchen. I remember being 12 or 13 when I remember finally "getting it." That dad was only happy and in good cheer when he was lying to us (and himself) or when he was wasted.
The long trips out "to get something at the store" only to come back home 4 hours later. I remember crying myself to sleep on the floor of his bedroom just because I wanted him to see how much what he did hurt me. It was never enough to stop him and soon, all the Christmas Card moments became tainted by his use/abuse.
An active user's IQ plummets. A child's grows. When the children reach the point when they're smarter about their addicted loved one, well, it's a lonely place when nobody is there to pick up the pieces and you have to hoof it out alone. I wouldn't wish that on any child.
Just sharing a personal experience.
I agree with the poster who said he needs a plan--an active one. He needs to sit down, write it out and start making calls. What are you plans as a couple? Are they written out? Are they formally stated?
Many hugs to you, hon.