Welcome Orkney! (It might be a little slow here today, as usual on a weekend.) We are happy to have you part of the family.
Sorry for all you've been through with your relationship - that can take a terrible toll on us. Regret and sadness led me down the same path as you - until I was drinking round the clock in the end. I commend you for having the will to lay it down and have a new life, without your anesthesia. It is like coming out of a fog, and can be a bit scary at times. I was rather self-pitying in the beginning, but you seem to have a great attitude.
Let us know how you're feeling and keep talking to us.