I don't see any differences between your behaviour and that of anyone else caught up in addiction...strange that it should be suggested that you need mental health care whereas if you were seen as just an alcoholic you would get given lots of encouragement to give it all up and a load of platitudes like you can do this! Your post doesn't shock me in the slightest and i would recommend that you get into a program of recovery asap and start doing some work on yourself which will only happen when you are willing to do so and ready to be honest...