Have you considered going back to a mental health professional? You did before, sounds like you did it for the chemical addiction, would you go back again?
I think that would be a good hub to start. You might even check with any sort of local gov't health agency, NAMI, or even just contact a psychiatrist to see if they can refer you to someone who might have experience working with someone with your particular problems.
I don't know what is available to you or what could be prescribed. SR might have some resources available and others might come by who have had similar experiences. I'd stick around and see if a forum moderator doesn't come around, they also perform as sort of the SR Librarians of the place.
And I'd probably start getting together that whatever sort of addiction this might be (sex/adrenaline..?) is not going to be cured the same way it's made. It's the case with many chemical addicts to kind of take the sort of "my life is awful, I completely hate who I am, I want things to change, but only if change gives me a bigger thrill than using." I imagine if your issue is a sort of anhedonia/thrill-seeking then that kind of addict self-delusion could be even more intense.
But doing nothing probably wont lead you anywhere except to more self-loathing, (possibly) hurting people right and left, and at least with the traffic stunts a good chance of a 20+ year life sentence for vehicular manslaughter (not a lot of fun in prison.) Like heroin, you're not going to reach a comfortable plateau where everything is happy and right.
You said that earlier attempts at help/recovery made you feel isolated? However, the way I see it, you came here introducing yourself as "loathe" (yourself?) and explained that we'd all hate you. Whatever it is you're doing now you seem to anticipate your own alienation. So I'd say you already are. And I'd imagine with your sexual manipulations of people in your life eventually shoes are going to drop and leave you cut off there too. So yeah, please get you some help, and SR will be welcome to help. It wont be so bad.
