Hi Vicki,
I am new here also, and I have to tell you that even in just the few short days I have been on this site, my own well being has improved. It's funny how most of us on here can finish the sentences for you. My AH's favorite words while drunk are "shove it up for f***ing a**. He also likes to play the victim and talks of how he "fears my wrath" and how I am abusive to him. He has become so lost over the past year and a half...it's literally like his brain is turning to mush. I agree with Naive......try to get out of there, even if it is just for a few days. Clear your head and formulate a plan on where to go from here. In my own personal experience, it only gets worse. I left my AH in September. He is now homeless and appears at my door often. Things aren't perfect yet, but just moving on myself has made quite a difference.
Good luck and peaceful holidays!