Hey Eddie. I know for me that it's important to spot my alkie thinking if it starts rearing it's head. Cynicism, hopelessness, demoralisation, resentment, ungratefulness are often precursors to the solution of getting wasted.
I guess ultimately you can only recover if you stick it out and don't take that first drink. I know for me that 1 drink would mean I was back in the game again and it would be hard to not just end up getting wrecked again every available situation. I know you started to get demoralised with AA but remember how insidious the alkie mind is. It really helped me knowing that depression and the alcoholic emotions like resentment or cynicism or whatever were ultimately just my alkie mind trying to get me to take that first drink again. Once I knew that then it really helped me to reach out and stop myself thinking in ways which would make getting wrecked seem like the only solution.
Knowing that alcoholism ultimately is a 'thinking' problem and not a drinking problem really helped and continues to help me. I know that when I'm grateful then all of the good stuff stems from that gratitude but ultimately I had to work through all of the crap to get to the good stuff.
All The Best