westbank

I think I am feeling a little too sorry for myself but the pain and almost a sense of panic I am experiencing is making me feel like I am regressing and not moving forward. I know my husband is an alcoholic and I know I made the right decision by detaching while still in the relationship. I also feel deep down that I made the right decision by telling him our 30 year marriage was over as I didn't want to watch him slowly destroy himself.

I just never expected it to hurt so much. We have been separated since July and have had minimal contact. I have never called him and though it is hard I feel for me this is the best course of action. The few times he has called resulted in him getting very angry. He now sends texts but they are only regarding household stuff. I usually don't bother answering them.

I have now heard that he is living with a woman and to be frank...I feel just sick. I know he needs someone else to enable him and I know he blames me for the reason he drank. But how do you not take it personally?? How can I only concentrate on me without thoughts of him constantly invading me??

Another thing I find hard is when visiting this website ( and I do so regularly) is that it makes me feel bad that he doesn't even want to be with me. He has just moved on. It was bad enough that he made no attempt to try to keep his wife and sons. I know I am rambling and now I can't see screen because of tears so I will say goodnight.