I failed too many times myself so I know how desperate you must feel.
But, like Dee, I kept coming back and trying again... and it finally 'took'.
I have a year sober now and have never felt better.
Read this thread. It's very moving and so true, sad but true. I hope this can be your
last day One.
http://www.soberrecovery.com:80/foru...ferrerid=53285