i don't know what to do differently. i was doing so well and i honestly don't know why everything came crashing down. i know my depression started getting really bad but i stayed on top of it with my doctor. i have no excuses this time other than i really just felt i needed it. either drink or go nuts thinking about it. doing so well for so long. it's heart breaking being back to day one. feeling miserable and wanting to drink more but am determined not to.