I tried to convince my wife to change from vodka to wine, then from red to white, negotiating limits like quantities per a given time frame. Only beer during the week, etc.
For me those efforts tuned out to be a frustrating waste of time and energy and only served to build resentment between the two of us. Any joint progress was at a stand still and we were just slowly heading towards disaster.
I did however, make great individual progress by seeing a counselor that specialized in addictions, joining support groups. Reading books like Under the Influence, Getting Them Sober, Codependent No More, etc.