Thinking too much today. :(
I've been doing pretty well with our breakup. I just couldn't take my situation anymore.
Today I've been thinking too much and am a little down. We had our gift exchange at work and our holiday party is this weekend. I'm sad that I won't be bringing my ex. I have to remind myself that our relationship was really bad because of the drinking.
We are no longer in contact, but I had gotten some sappy I love you messages. He asked me to take him to an AA meeting to later do nothing as far as I know. I'm pretty certain that was just a bunch of quacking.
The few times I had talked to him, he asked me to take a trip with him over Christmas because "it sucks to be alone" that day as he put it. I didn't even answer the question the last time. I can't say what I really want to say and so I just ignored it.
Today I started thinking too much. I'm sad today. This is not the person I knew. I feel like, "Is that what our relationship came down to after all those years together?" The rest of the year his friends are the priority and getting drunk. But on that one day that he can't handle alone, he really wants me. Talk about being used.
And how can they not see it? This is an intelligent person.
I think, "My God. Did this person ever really love me at all?"
It's just a sh*tty sh*tty feeling.
Would anyone else like to share their own feelings on that? On their own situation? Or mine or just share anything please.