Good God Woman. Please consider seeking a recovery program for your addiction to alcoholics and/or drama, either through counseling or Al-Anon.
JW123- you handled this very well in my opinion. You came here openly and honestly asking for help and that puts you head and shoulders above the ordinary crowd in my opinion.
You'll be fine. In my experience, I take a few steps forward then one step back. It's a long process but being kind to yourself really is the first step. It's so worth it to take back your life!