Rhode, I would gently suggest that you check out the ACOA board (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and broach the topic of what it was like growing up with an alcoholic parent, whether they were "abusive" or not. I'd venture to say that however jovial the A parent was, there were *always* repercussions.
Sorry to burst your bubble here, but this is a sensitive point for me. I coparented my XAH (ex alcoholic husband)'s son, from the age of 6 to the age of 12. I saw what effect his father's addiction had on him, and once my daughter was born, I came to realize that she would become like her brother if I didn't do something. So I left and took her with me.